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Please note that the TOP 10 is normally not written by Bill Eagle (unless his name is attached) nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle, his wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends (assuming that he has any at all). Top 10 Signs You Smoke Too Much From someone on the Internet
10. In the middle of smoking a cigarette, you pause for a “cigarette break.”
9. Your birthday is a state holiday in North Carolina.
8. Your title for the Surgeon General: “Captain Bringdown.”
7. Cracking you knuckles leaves you winded.
6. Morning schedule: Wake up, cough for three hours, take nap.
5. In the neighborhood, they give directions by saying, “go down to the big pile of cigarette butts…”
4. You get mattress fires more often than haircuts.
3. You smoke during sex.
2. You refer to non smokers as “pink lunged sissy boys.”
1. You explain to the nurse that you didn’t realize you were in a “non smoking” Iron lung.
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