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Please note that the TOP 10 is normally not written by Bill Eagle (unless his name is attached) nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Bill Eagle’s wife, children, pastor, pets, real or past friends. Top Ten Ways U.S. Open Would Be Different, If It were Held on The moon.
10. Guy hits a lob on Tuesday; opponent returns it on Wednesday.9. Announces says lame things like “That’s one short volley for man, one giant match point for mankind.8. In space no one can hear John McEnroe.
7. If players argue, umpire cuts off their oxygen.
6. Final round: Michael Stich s one of those Star wars dudes.
5. Lots of laughs when line judge and his tall chair get knocked over by a flying comet.
4. “Sampras has just smashed another blistering two mile an hour serve!”
3. Spectator Donald Trump mistaken for Goodyear blimp.
2. Serve one really hard and it goes all the way around and hits you in the butt.
1. Two words: Floatin’ Trophies!
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