"Cool." Says I. 

The next day, I am packing the car.  I get my plant evaluation materials all laid out.  Pencils, clipboard, camera, and, oh yes, film for the camera.

I could feel the warmth of the sun, as I drive across the Sauvie Island Bridge.  I turn up Reeder Road, and head past Elmer's Dairy farm for my destination.  "What a great day," thinks I, "What a great day to do plant evaluations, what a great day to be outdoors, what a great day to bathe in the sun".

I gleefully park my vehicle in a brushy area marked by vehicle tracks.  A number of other vehicles are there, so I know that the beach is being used.  I gather my materials, including my camera and head out to make scientific evaluations. 

"I am here for science sake."  Thinks I.   I had to admit, that I did have a small twinge in anticipation of what I would see, and it had nothing to do with science.

I walk out on the beach with my clip board, and I can see others on the beach as well.  There seemed to be several couples enjoying each others company.  A few single individuals are walking on the beach, some holding hands.   Two things become very apparent to me:
One.  None of these people have any clothes on; and …
Two.  None of these people are female.

I suddenly feel very strange, most uncomfortable.  I do my plant evaluations as quickly as possible and I make tracks.

I returned to the office and recount my experiences to our secretary and a laughing Ray.
"Next year" says I.  "You do the evaluations."

"No problem" says Ray with a smirk.  "I'm secure with my own masculinity.  I know how to fill out plant material evaluation forms."

A year passes, and almost all is forgotten about this event. I open the mail, and I see forms from the SCS Plant Materials Center.  They want us (Lloyd has slimed out of this responsibility) to do another evaluation on the Collins beach plantings.

"Ok" says I.  "It's your turn Ray.  You get to do the PMC evaluations".

"No problem." says Ray as he pokes a Marlboro in his mouth and takes the forms from me.  "I'll go later on this week."

Several days later Ray takes off for the Island, and the "Nude Beach".

I chuckle to myself.  I make a couple wise ass remarks to our part time secretary.

Ray returns later on that afternoon. 

"Did you see a bunch of naked men?" Asks our secretary.

Ray pulls out a Marlboro, and sticks it in his mouth.  "Nope."

"No?" remarks yours truly.  "What did you see?'

Ray is all grins.  "I forgot to tell you something last year.  You went on the wrong day".

Ray pauses for effect. "I got word that the girls (exotic dancers) from Mary's Place were going to visit the beach today.  It was good information."

So ended my experience with the Nude Beach on Sauvie Island.  This was in 1981, a time when private tanning booths were few and hard to find. The Plant Materials Center considered their plantings a success, and no longer required us to do any more evaluations on that site. 

I find it interesting to read about it in the newspapers again.  From what I read, I would assume that some of the people who use the beach are not just interested in sunning themselves.   Some of the locals say that there are some public displays of  "affection" that transcend innocent nudity.  Traffic problems, parking, trash, all have contributed to less than positive publicity. 

St. Helens Judge Ted Grove wants Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife to take on the role of obscenity police. 

This brings to mind a big question.  If ODF & W start writing tickets to nudists, how can they make sure that they are writing the citations to the proper people?  I mean, how will they make sure of their identity?  After all, nudists don't have any pockets.  Do they?

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