ticipants substantial fees.  A lot of money is spent, and people are reluctant to turn down opportunities to make money.   What bothers me is that some of these people say that if we ban hunting, they will kill their little dogs.  One man threatened to gas all of his hounds and dump them on the steps of our town hall."

"It will still take some time for the ban to go into effect," continued Eileen.  "I still can't believe that people consider it a sport."

I spoke to John later, and he told me that there are a number of other alternatives to fox hunting.  They can do a "drag hunt."  John explained that a drag hunt consists of someone dragging something with an artificial scent.  The dogs and horses will then follow the scent trail.

"Of course," said John.  "It isn't near as bloody, and they don't get to rip a fox into pieces."

"True," said I.  "That sort of thing wouldn't be a true blood sport.  Hey, I have a great idea.  You Brits need a new sort of sport to satisfy your desire for blood.  I have just the thing for you.  Years ago, I remember reading something by comedian Roger Price.  He suggested replacing bull fighting with dog kicking.   How about replacing fox hunting with dog kicking?   It would be just the sort of thing you would be good at.  I just know that you British would be able to do it with a real flair.  You have a natural knack for doing things with pomp and pageantry.  You could wear special dog kicking costumes, with special boots.  You could choose just the right kind of dog, one that would be appropriate for the occasion.  You might want to choose a smaller breed, an animal that is capable of  making of lots of noise as it is propelled into the air…"

Conversation stopped.

My wife walked into the room and gave me a look that bordered on deadly.  "What in the world are you talking about?

"Oh oh nothing special." I stammered.

"I would certainly hope that you weren't saying what I thought I just heard you say?"

I slyly looked at her, smiled and said: "Would you like to say 'Hi' to John in England?"

"Not really" she said. "I don't think that there is anything lower or more despicable than a person who would kick a dog. The very thought is disgusting, and you can tell your friend John that people that kick dogs, are probably not nice to other people either…'

The sounds of her words lingered in the room as she headed for other parts of our house.

International telephone rates are a great bargain. My friend John and I will continue to call each other.   The next time we converse we will probably chat about a number of things. We will discuss politics, mutual friends, Chester's wall, its great zoo, and NW USA's weather.  The one thing that I can say with certainty (at least as long as my wife is close by) is that I will make no further suggestions in regards to dogs or future British sports.

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