Wow! I got myself a smart phone.
It was one of those high tech marvels that cost lots of bucks and is supposed to answer a person's every need.

My daughter bought one first and showed it to me. Her phone had all sorts of features. It had a virtual compass, a virtual spirit level, and a radio. It could do mathematics, display maps, give directions and even tell me what's playing at our local movie house.
I was impressed.

It had an 8 megapixel camera and flash. 

My daughter showed me more: "It has a Kindle, You can read books at night when the lights are out, and you won't keep mom up."

I was even more impressed.

"Dad, look at this. It has a built in camcorder so that you can take videos. , Not only can you take videos, but you can also watch movies on your TV. You can download Netflix with it."

Was I ever impressed. 

I knew in my heart that I just had to have one of those super duper smart phones. 

No more would I have to mess with my little flip phone, I would now have a power house that could be used to watch TV movies, play arcade games and tell me the price of gas at the nearest gas station."

"I'm due for an upgrade. I told her. "I think I'll order one of those great phones."

I did just that, and it arrived the next day via overnight mail.

It looked impressive.

I started to set my email and then received a nasty surprise. The telephone didn't have a real keyboard. It had a virtual keyboard and my fat fingers didn't fit well on virtual keys. It took me well over an hour just to type in my login and password.
My telephone made a groaning noise.

"Oh my gosh, " I cried. "Someone's calling me."

I fumbled with the phone and tried to answer. No buttons, no keyboard, and the phone continued to groan.

I pushed everything that I could push and rubbed my fingers all over its virtual screen. I finally managed to bring something up.

Too late, the caller had fled.

No problem, after some time and a few mistakes, I eventually figured out how to answer my phone.

My blue tooth was another problem. I could only partially synch, I could hear sound, but was unable to transmit my voice. I called tech support (on a land line) and they told me that my model of blue tooth was too old and this phone was much too sophisticated.

I ordered a new Blue tooth.

I decided to access my bank online and check my account.

Fat fingers again. It seemed to take me forever to log in and write my password; the same thing with my Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo and Google accounts.

"Curse those fat fingers!"

My friend Bob is very much into things electronic. I showed him my new "State of the Art" smart phone and he sneered: "It's only 3G. Why didn't you hold out for 4G?"

Huh?

Wow! I got myself a new smart phone, and a 2 year contract. I wonder how much it will cost for me to get my old flip phone back?