"Listen lady" says Kermit.  " A BB Gun isn't a fire arm, and the BB never left my property."

"Doesn't matter."  replies the officer  "You still can't do that sort of thing in the City."

" You got'ta understand I don't own very much, but what I have is mine.  I have this house, my back yard, and my Camaro Z28 coupe" 

"You have a Camaro?"

"Yeh" replies Kermit, "Best damn car on the road.   It has a 5.7 Litre V8 and can do zero to 60 faster than you can burp.  I always wanted one of these things, and finally was able to save up enough money to buy one.   

"What does that have to do with cats?" asks the officer.

"Come on with me to the back yard, and I will show you" says Kermit, picking up his cane.

Kermit painfully leads the animal control officer out to his backyard.  There he shows her his detached garage.   Sitting partially In the doorway of the garage is Kermit's Camaro.   The Camaro is a bright burgundy and it is obvious that the machine has been polished and has received loving care. 

"Look at those tracks on the hood and back of my car" remarks Kermit.
"There's mud all over the car, and  if I'd leave my windows down, the damn things would be inside peeing on the upholstery.  Not only that but there is cat shit all over this place. 

"This still does not give you a right to shoot cats" says the Animal Control Lady.

"I didn't shoot any cats, but I damn might if you guys can't do something about them".   How about a live trap can I catch them and turn them in to you?

"A cat has a right to roam"  replies the officer.  You can't trap someone's cat. I could cite you for that.  You can't shoot cats or discharge weapons in the City either.

I didn't shoot any cats…" Stammers Kermit  "and this BB Pistol is hardly a weapon.  You won't find any of my BB's on anyone's property other than my own.

"Someone shot a cat with one,"  states the officer. " and I think that you are the prime suspect"

You could tell that Kermit's patience is about ended.  "I don't care what you think, I didn't shoot anything.  If there is a cat with a BB up it's butt then it was put there by one of the neighbor kids.  I don't shoot animals.  How about you telling the neighbors to take better care of their animals.  How about telling them to fix the damn things so they stop plopping kittens out left and right and how about telling them to keep their damn cats from tracking up my car and crapping all over my place."

The officer starts to walk to her car, she turns and faces Kermit.  "Mr. Curmudge, I will discuss this with the Chief.  You can be cited for discharging weapons, and shooting at animals.  I would suggest that you be careful of what you do in the future.

Kermit looks at her as she is about to get into her car.  A little smile forms on Kermit's face.  "Hey lady, you had better wipe your foot.  You have cat shit all over your shoe.

Kermit really tries to work hard at being a good citizen and a good neighbor, it's just that on some days, he has to work a bit harder than others….